Question: Is there in the Hadith of Abu Ruqayyah (may Allah be pleased with him): “The Religion is sincere advice” evidence against the one who detests taking a Kunya using a female name?
Answer: “It is well-known that the Kunya is only based on the eldest child as comes in the Hadith of Abu Shuraih (may Allah be pleased with him) that he had the kunya Abu al-Hakam. So the Prophet (ﷺ) said to him: “Do you have children? He said: Yes. He (ﷺ)said: Who are they? He said: So and so, so and so, and Shuraih. He (ﷺ) said: “Who is the eldest?”. He said: “Shuraih”. He (ﷺ) said: “You are Abu Shuraih” [Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood no. 4955]
So he gave him the kunya of the eldest. However, if a person does not have male children and then he gives himself the kunya of his daughters, then there is no preventative for that. However, him taking the kunya using a female name and abandoning the male children, then in this is prohibition. This is because the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) directed him to take the kunya using a male name and the eldest male. And a person can take a kunya before he has a child born to him.
So the conclusion is that in origin there is no prohibition in it. There is only prohibition if he leaves off the male children and takes a kunya using the female names”.
[Sharh Arba’een an-Nawawiyyah no. 14]
Faisal bin Abdul Qaadir bin Hassan