Question: Some friends curse and insult me. So do I respond to them with similar to what they said or what do I do?
Answer: “Look at the benefit of that. If there is a benefit that necessitates leaving them, abandoning them and not responding with similar to what they said, then do so. If there is a benefit that requires other than that, then you have the right to respond to them with similar to what they said to you. Allah says:
وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِثْلُهَا
The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof,
[42:40]
And He says:
وَلَمَنِ انتَصَرَ بَعْدَ ظُلْمِهِ فَأُوْلَئِكَ مَا عَلَيْهِمْ مِنْ سَبِيلٍ * إِنَّمَا السَّبِيلُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ يَظْلِمُونَ النَّاسَ وَيَبْغُونَ فِي الأَرْضِ بِغَيْرِ الْحَقِّ أُوْلَئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ
And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for such there is no way (of blame) against them. The way (of blame) is only against those who oppress men and wrongly rebel in the earth, for such there will be a painful torment.
[42:41-42]
An exception to that is if she is fasting. In that case, what is better is not to respond to them due to the statement of the Prophet(ﷺ) :
إن امرئ شاتمه أو قاتله فليقل: إني صائم
And if anyone slanders him or quarrels with him, he should say:” I am fasting, I am fasting
[Reported in Bukhari and Muslim]
Also excluded from this also is if your father is cursed, then do not curse his father because that is transgression to the father (i.e. his father because he did not curse you)
[Noor ‘ala Darb no. 436]
Translated by
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan
Abu Sulaymaan
