Question: Is calling the father and mother: “Oh Father and Oh mother” obligatory or recommended? Is it allowed to call them by their agnomen (الكنية)? Do the father and mother due to breast-feeding enter into this ruling?
Answer: ” From the Prophetic etiquette, which Ibrahim (عليه الصلاة والسلام) used with his father is that he called him using these words and addressed his father with these words. Allah, the Exalted said:
يَا أَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لا يَسْمَعُ وَلا يُبْصِرُ وَلا يُغْنِي عَنْكَ شَيْئًا * يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي قَدْ جَاءَنِي مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ فَاتَّبِعْنِي أَهْدِكَ صِرَاطًا سَوِيًّا * يَا أَبَتِ لا تَعْبُدِ الشَّيْطَانَ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلرَّحْمَنِ عَصِيًّا * يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي أَخَافُ أَنْ يَمَسَّكَ عَذَابٌ مِنَ الرَّحْمَنِ فَتَكُونَ لِلشَّيْطَانِ وَلِيًّا
“O my father! Verily! There has come to me of knowledge that which came not unto you. So follow me. I will guide you to a Straight Path.
“O my father! Worship not Shaitan (Satan). Verily! Shaitan (Satan) has been a rebel against the Most Beneficent (Allah).
“O my father! Verily! I fear lest a torment from the Most Beneficent (Allah) overtake you, so that you become a companion of Shaitan (Satan) (in the Hell-fire) [17:43-45]
So the word “oh my father” (يا أبت) is a desired affair from the child to the father and is from the right of the father from his son. The Exalted said:
And that you be dutiful to your parents [17:23]
From goodness to them is addressing them well and being good to the parents is a certain commandment”.
[Kanz uth-Thameen (4/295-296)]
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan